Six Months On, Reminiscing and Looking to the Future ...

I can't believe it's been 6 months since I left Scotland. It feels like just yesterday, but at the same time it could have been a life time ago! Being back in Melbourne was really weird to begin with. Everything was the same, but a little bit different. It was as if my plane had accidentally gone through to a parallel universe. Maybe it did. There's a metro train to Sunbury now. There were other things that were different, but for some reason that was the one that stuck in my head.

Sometimes I miss Scotland. Mostly I miss all the amazing friends I made. It really sucks that the other side of the world is, well, on the other side of the world! It's so far away! Eventually I'll get back over there, though!!

I actually have a diary entry for a year ago today. It was my day off and I went to Glasgow for the first time. I'd mostly settled into work and Pitlochry. It's crazy to think about the person I was then. It was still the beginning of an amazing adventure. I was excited and ready for whatever challenges life wanted to throw at me. I had no idea where I'd be in a year and I loved not knowing. I certainly wouldn't have thought that I'd be a week away from finishing my first semester of university!

University. Everyone keeps asking how it's going. I never really know what to say. It's just a part of my life now, I plod along reading and writing things and turning up to classes and talking to people. I  procrastinate a lot (like right now), but everything gets done and I've passed all my assignments so far. It's basically everything I expected - hard work, really interesting and lots of nice people to get to know. I'm enjoying it and that's the main thing.

May is always a weird time for me. Important things seem to happen in May so I always spend the whole moth reflecting and reminiscing.

Three years ago I was almost finished the first semester of my last year of High School. I wasn't very happy, I was drifting apart from one of my best friends and I didn't feel like I had anyone to talk to about it. I don't think I wanted or was really able to talk about it. So I wrote really bad, cryptic poetry that is both heart-breaking and hilarious to read now.

Two years ago I had finally started getting over the previous year, I had just started dating my boyfriend at the time, I was working for my mum, but I still wasn't really happy. I guess I had no direction, no goals, no real plans other than vague "one day I want to ..."'s. University was definitely NOT on that list!

One year ago I was starting a crazy adventure on the other side of the world!

And now?

Now I am at uni. I'm still working for my mum (but fingers crossed I get a new job soon). I have an amazing group of friends who will hopefully stick around for a very long time! There's still some people it feels like I'm drifting away from, but everyone's really busy with Life and I still love them! I still get sad occasionally, but I'm finally learning to talk about it and I know there are people who will listen.

So the important thing that happened this May?

I realised that I am the happiest I can ever remember being.

Bye-bye Scotland!!!

Hi guys,
Just a quick one coz all the batteries are going to die and there's no free wifi! I'm At Glasgow Airport waiting for my plane!! I'm so, so sad to be leaving - I've had such an amazing time! But at the same time I'm really looking forward to seeing all you lovely people back in Australia!!
The past 7 months have gone so fast I can't believe it's almost Christmas and New Year and all that party stuff!! (Guys! What are we doing for NYE, by the way?! I'm thinking city, but then there's all those annoying drunk people ...)
It feels really surreal that I'm going home. I don't think I'll quite believe it until I'm curled up in my Marshmallow bed eating curly fries, and even then it might still feel like a dream!!
I got the email with all of my enrollment stuff yesterday. That's a whole other jar of crazy!!
I guess it feels particularly weird because when I came over here it was a whole lot of unknown - no job, no house, no friends. It was like starting a new book: no expectations and no idea what it will be like. Where as going home is like picking up the sequel to your favourite book in the world: You know the characters and the world inside out and you love them to bits, but you know everything will be a little bit different than how you remember, besides, you're different too. And this time you do have expectations and hopes and predictions about what will happen in this story, but really you have absolutely no idea.
Anyways, not long until boarding starts!!! And a little over 24 hours until MARSHMALLOW BED!!!!
Love you all and can't wait to see you!!!!
xo

If you're a little confused ...

... Why I've seemingly randomly decided to go to uni ... So am I!! So I will try and explain it as much as I can ...

"What?! I thought you said you didn't want to go to uni?!"

I don't think I ever said I didn't want to go to uni at all-ever, I just said that I hadn't found any courses that really sparked my interest. But now I have.

"Aren't you giving up a great opportunity to live overseas?"

Yes. I can only get this working visa once in my life, but it's still valid until 2014 so I can come back if I want to. That aside, I was never coming over here forever.

"What made you decide to go to uni?"

Way back a year ago when the idea of working in the UK manifested itself in my mind and grew into something that I HAD to do right now! I wasn't in a very good place. I felt like I was just wandering around, doing absolutely nothing of value. I had no goals, no purpose, no direction. So the idea of going overseas was an escape from that nothingness. It gave me something to look forward to, and aim towards. Basically it gave me something to DO. When I came over here it was a crazy-awesome-adventure of new stuff and new people and new adventures! I did miss home, though (and still do!), but when I left I had decided that I wasn't going to come home until I had a clear plan of what I was going to do with myself. So whenever I felt really homesick, I'd brainstorm all the things I could do if I went home right then and worked out if that was really what I wanted to do with my life. One of these things was studying. It's something that has fluttered around in my head since I finished school, but I never found a course that looked interesting. Eventually I stumbled onto a few subjects at Swinburne that looked pretty good. The more subjects I looked at the more interesting it got. So I spent MONTHS debating whether or not I really wanted to study for three years and if I really wanted to go back home.  I decided that I pretty much wanted to stay here and go home to study equally, so I might as well apply for uni and If I got in, I'd go home. If not, I'd stay here.

"Why does the idea of going to uni scare you more than the idea of moving to the other side of the world on your own with no job, no accommodation and barely any money? That's NUTS! Uni's really not that bad!"

Most of you know that I really did not like high school. I was really not very happy for the last few years (for various reasons that I won't go into), so I have formed an association between "unhappiness" and "studying". That said, I love learning things. I love researching things to find out everything you could possibly know about things. If I'm really passionate about something (Disney) I will stay up all night reading stuff about it and then tell everyone I know all the crazy and interesting stuff I have found.

But as much as I am excited to go to uni, there is still a nagging fear that some of the things that made me sad in high school will come back. They probably won't because I'm older a wiser and awesomer now, but at the moment, it feels like a huge gamble.

I'm not promising I'm going to stick at it for the whole three years (my dad hasn't set an excellent example on that front!), but I want to try it and see what all the fuss is about!!

xoxo